Top 10 food patents (savory)

No. 1: Pseudo‐fish

Tricksy patented method of turning minced fish into a layered pseudo‐FISH product:

1. Roll minced fish to form two sheets
2. Cook one surface of one of the sheets
3. Stack and compress the sheets, with the cooked layer in the middle

The cooked layer causes the fish to flake along the middle in the same manner as a cooked fish, fooling the minced‐fish eater that he is eating a real (albeit spineless) fish.

(CA1122055)

No. 2: Multicoloured pasta

Patented MULTI‐COLOURED PASTA:

"A flat sheet of pasta having outer surfaces of two colours that extend through the sheet to the opposite surface."

Apparently, before this patent, one merely mixed noodles of different colour. Fabrizio was the first person to invent a multi‐coloured noodle! After filing this patent, I bet he got a visit from Tony Four Fingers.

(US5114724)

No. 3: Smoked meat

Pacific Lumber Co. actually got a US patent for:

"Smoking meat with redwood smoke"

I can only presume the patent examiner thought animals never got trapped in a redwood forest fire.

(US2217282)

No. 4: Pizza

A patented take on a CALZONE PIZZA:

1. Apply tomato sauce and ingredients to a pre‐baked pastry layer
2. Coat with mozzarella and provolone cheese
3. Stretch a second layer of rolled out, unbaked pastry over the entire surface of the layer of cheese
4. Partially bake
5. Cool
6. Apply a layer of ingredients to the second layer
7. Bake

This must be the PIZZA PIE Dean Martin was envisioning in That's Amore.

(US4283431)

No. 5: Sandwich loaf

An invention even better than Sliced Bread ‐ a SANDWICH LOAF!! This one's my all‐time favourite:

"A baked loaf with:

• slices of food transversely embedded at regular intervals in the loaf; and
  
• external markings intermediate the slices, indicating where the loaf should be cut into sandwiches."

Cutting a loaf into sandwiches! Why didn't this make $$$$?

(US1797856)

No. 6: Skewered deep‐fried sandwich

Another patented method of making a deep‐fried SANDWICH, but this time Skewered:

1. Roll dough into a thin layer
2. Enclose food filling with the dough
3. Skewer
4. Compact the dough against the skewer and food filling
5. Deep fry

Optionally: remove the skewer after frying and pour a sauce (e.g. ketchup) into the bore.

(US3656968)

No. 7: Fried pizza

This would certainly get you shot at dusk and dawn in Italy ‐ a patented method of making a FRIED PIZZA:

1. Form a flat thin dough base
2. Perforate the base by removing plugs therefrom
3. Deep fry
4. Apply sauce to an upper surface of the base, with some sauce flowing through the perforations

The aim is for the sauce to flow into the perforations and impregnate the base. Other toppings and cheese can then be added to the upper layer.

(US4551337)

No. 8: Kosher pet food

This one surprised even me ‐ patented KOSHER PET FOOD!

"A pet food composition comprising:

15‐60% (by weight) kosher meat washed in cold water and salted,
Carbohydrates,
Fiber,
Fat,
>2.44% omega‐6 fatty acids, and
>0.49% omega‐3 fatty acids."

I presume the patent examiner fell off his chair after reading the inventor's claim:

"This invention relates to pet food, specifically domesticated cats and dogs for which a kosher diet is recommended for health and/or spiritual reasons."

Spiritual reasons! This guy should cut down on whatever he's taking.

(US6277435)

No. 9: Pasta sheet

La Rosa patented a corrugated LASAGNA PASTA SHEET:

"Elongated pasta sheet with longitudinally extending ribs on at least one of its faces".

It may not look like much, but the corrugations made the pasta sheets less prone to breaking. Corrugated lasagna proved very popular … and profitable.

(US2686720)

No. 10: Hot dog rolls

Finally, a patented HOT DOG ROLL having:

"a longitudinal trough‐like cavity that extends along its length and is adapted to receive a sausage. The roll and cavity being formed independently of the sausage, and being sufficiently flexible to permit spreading of the roll to receive the sausage."

Success favours the diligent, and this inventor had clearly done his homework:

"I am aware of the fact that rolls have been made with sausages or frankfurters cooked therein, and I am also, of course, aware of the fact that rolls have been opened or cut to receive sausages in the formation of sandwiches, but it is the purpose of my invention to provide a roll which does not require any cutting or shaping and which of itself is so shaped as to receive a sausage and to properly hold the sausage with dressing or flavoring, so that the sandwich can be conveniently handled without soiling the hands or the clothing and will be neat and attractive in appearance and a great labor saving device."

(US1600191)

And …

Another patented HOT DOG ROLL, but this time with a hole in the middle!

"A hollow, elongated, cylindrical, self‐supporting roll open at one end, the wall of the roll being slotted."

The aim was to provide a closed end to contain melted butter or mustard and prevent dripping when eaten.

(US1569121)